LOVE

What is love? How do you know if you love someone? Are you in love? I ponder the thought of love often. What is the difference between loving someone? Do you love them like a friend, family, brother, or something more, perhaps someone you may consider marrying? I have often thought what exactly shows love. Is it action or is it words? Does action show more than words? If someone tells you one thing but does another which one is truthful? Is love defined by worrying about someone and wishing for the best? Is love the action of showing that you care? When you begin to wonder if someone is okay, what they are doing, how they are feeling, their best interest, is this love or is this just being considerate? I will continue to pray and ponder the answer to these questions and hopefully someday I will find what love is and I will know it.

Friends

Today I am thankful for the great friends I have. I don't know what I would do without each and every one of you. I know I would not be where I am today. I know that I have grown and become who I am with the influence from each of you. I love you all so much. You could not imagine the impact you have each had in my life. Thank you!!

♥ Ashley :)

On Facebook today I saw someone's status as:

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. "Today I am thankful for..." The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message as your status to invite others to take the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today.

I went ahead and posted my status that today I am thankful for the job that I have but I am actually going to expand this to a blog because I think each of us should try to be more thankful. I am thankful for the job that I have today. I know that I sometimes complain but I have realized that I am working in a great office with a great boss and that I should be very happy that I have a job. I have great hours and flexibility and I am very thankful for all of this.

The Not So Secret Life of The American 20 Year Old

Life as we know it changes throughout the course of our years. It seems like it becomes more and more stressful as time continues to tick. As we progress things become more stressful and time management becomes a large factor for life. How exactly do we know how to balance the many things? Work, School, Church, Family, Sleep, Friends, etc. I have yet to figure out exactly what the balance should be. What order should these things be done and how should I go about accomplishing each one. The goals I had for this semester in school have already started to become unable to accomplish. I am at a loss for how to manage my school work, take good notes, and study. Why am I a junior in college and just now experiencing this delima? In high school and at BCC I had good grades and was able to balance my time. Why all of a sudden am I having such a hard time? Why every night that you plan something four other things happen to be happening at the same time? I triple booked myself. How does someone triple book themself? Well, I guess when you are avoiding you calendar like you may catch the plague then it might just happen. Now that I have worked out this delima I must move on to the next. Work, I love it but at times I really miss the salon. I miss all of the girls, the constantly moving, chatting, doing something. I have learned that I miss that so much. How am I going to work in an office for the rest of my life if I miss that so much. I guess I better find a very busy office or decide on a minor where I can have more talking, moving, and the hustle of a busy day. Family, is the next topic on the list of my very busy day. How do you help your family to understand that you love them and that you are not trying to neglect them? I love my family with all my heart but sometimes it is so hard to relate to them and to have them understand how I feel. All I want is a little compassion. I guess that I will have to learn someday that my family is not quite the compassionate type if they know you are upset they will either pick on you and try to make you laugh or say something like you are being silly. It makes things tough but I should understand this about my family by now, it has been this way for the last 20 years and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Sleep, well I guess I should be doing that right now. I am one of those people who for the last 20 years has had my full 8 hours of beauty rest or I am the grumpiest girl alive. Well over the past few months this has not been so. I am living on less and less sleep and this fact actually scares me a little. What happens if I become like some of my friends and am zombie like and never sleep? What will I do? I may lose my mind being that I am already so close. Friends, I miss my best friend. I know that he is on a mission but sometimes I just want a nice big hug from him, but I am very proud and I am so glad that he decided to serve HF and go on a mission. My friends are all actually amazing and help me through the challenges I face. I know that HF has sent me each and every friend for some reason or another. I have probably driven them all crazy with my ranting and raving but because they all love me soo much they never say a word about me and my big mouth chatty cathy. I love that they all try to help me in any way they can. Church, I actually love church. I am prety sure that the church and my friends are what is helping me to retain the little bit of sanity I have left. Without church and the callings I have I would be quite the mess. I love the gospel and I know that HF will help me work through all of this and manage my time more wisely.Maybe all of this hustle is so that I can see where the life of a working student could prepare a person for marriage and parenthood. Working 28 hours a week, taking 16 credit hours, and fulfilling two callings is quite the load but I am the type of person who enjoys a full load and learning how to manage things. Yes, there may be a mental breakdown here and there but doesn't everyone have one of those every now and then?

♥ Ashley

P.S. I feel much better with all of this off of my chest!!

Catching up

I am sooo greatful for soooo many things. I am greatful for the experiences that I have had. I am sure that everything happens for a reason and every experience I have had was for some sort of growth. I am soo thankful for the world around me. I am thankful for great friends and family and friends families. I love everyone. I have realized that I am a very loving person. I have also realized that I am very open to new experiences. I never expected to be as open minded as I am. I hate it sooo much when people are close minded. It really bothers me and makes me want to change their minds. I am so thankful for the gospel and for callings. I was so nervous to give my first talk in YW's on Sunday but I love the girls and I am soo glad that I overcame my fear and gave a lesson. I can't wait to fulfill my new calling. I know that this is going to be a very interesting point in my life but one that will give me the opportunity to grow and to become closer to HF and to do the things that will make him happy. I am starting my classes at BCC in two weeks and UCF in almost three weeks. I can not believe that I already have recieved my associates degree and that I am already working on my bachelor's. This is totally unbelievable to me. I am totally blown away that my little sister is a senior and starting BCC classes. All these years it was like I was getting older but it felt like my sister wasn't and now all of a sudden she is a senior. I can't believe all this. I know that my life is going to be very busy with working around 28 hours a week, going to school full time, and fulfilling two callings but I am very very excited. I am still having a hard time with my family situation but I can not complain because I know that I have Heavenly Father with me and that he knows what I am going through. I was reading through an essay that I did in World Religions today and it was on the LDS thoughts of after life. I wrote this paper in June of last year and while reading this and the paper that I wrote on the visit to an LDS church I was totally overcome by the Spirit. I can't believe that as I was writing that paper I did not realize that I needed to join the church it all makes so much sense now and I can truly testify that the church is true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet. If I were not so open minded to pray about it and see for myself if it was true and follow the promptings of the spirit then I would definetly not be where I am today.

♥Love ya all, ♥
Ashley :)

Life at this moment

So, I haven't posted on here in a while. Well, I am going to jump right in.

Church:I am soooo thankful for the many blessings in my life given to me by HF. I am very thankful for the restored gospel, I am thankful for patriarchal blessings, and I am truly thankful for friends. I am thankful for the Sister missionaries and my best friend Nathan. If it wasn't for all of these people I don't know what I would do. I am very thankful that I have had soo many people who have become friends and strengthened my testimony soo much. Each person in different ways. There have been so many occurances that have strengthened my testimony in little ways and most people probably don't even know. If you are reading this you are probably part of the reason why I have such a strong testimony.

School: I am finally accepted to UCF...I went and spoke to an advisor today and I plan on working on BABA in the fall although I still don't know what I want to minor in. I have had a sudden realization that I might want to teach at high school level but in Business...maybe but I still don't know. I have been thinking that I actually might want to go ahead and not only work on a Bachelor's degree but also a master's. I don't know yet but we will see where Heavenly Father guides me.

Work: I still love my job. My bosses are amazing and I am very thankful for my job.

Family: My family situation is starting to get better. I think that they are realizing that I have already joined the church and nothing is going to change that. My grandparents are actually very supportive. My sister has not taunted me as much lately. One of my family members is really trying to overcome a problem that they have and it is getting much better and I am very proud of them...I sincerely hope that this continues.

Friends: I have more friends than I ever thought I would. I love each and everyone of them. I am very thankful for them. I really feel soo welcome by my friends in the church and I think that my friendship with my friends outside of the church is actually going to be okay. My friends are starting to cope with me being a member of the church.

I feel really bad because I am a different person than I once was before I joined the church but I totally feel like this is in a good way not a bad way. I feel like I have grown in soo many ways and made progress in becoming the woman that I want to be.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

The quote I chose for the title is so true...I challenge you live your life as if everything is a miracle.



This has been an interesting week...on Monday and Tuesday I was thinking wow I need to make myself pray more often I mean I always pray before I go to bed but never throughout the day unless I need something. Well I didn't do anything about it and on Wednesday a Daily YSA gym came as an email and it said "In the hectic, pressure-filled schedules you face, I . . . know how easy it is to let prayer slip. Some of you hit the snooze button on your alarm clocks, thinking you can eke out just another minute or two of sleep, then jerk awake realizing that you are going to be late for school or work. On such mornings, prayer gets pushed aside, perhaps with a feeble promise to yourself that you will do better tomorrow." I thought wow this is me so I have been focused on praying more and I am going to make this my goal this month to really get into the habit of praying more often and not just before bed and when I need things.



I am going to get back into the habit of reading my scriptures a lot because I have slipped on this too.



I have been giving a lot of thought to want I want to do as I grow up. I'm still not sure exactly what I want to be only what I want to go to school for. I have had this whole new realization that I want to get married and have kids in the nearer future than I ever thought I would especially since I didn't even want kids. I was always so afraid of raising kids and not knowing how but after joining the church I feel so much stronger and like I will be a great mother or at least the best I can be. I oftentimes watch movies and read books and think of how I want my life to be and it is really funny to me that I got this message on facebook today.

"Ashley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...
...
that to find out who you are becoming find stories that move your heart.Just
like a seed has an image of the tree in it, so does your heart have an image of
who you are becoming. Look for stories in movies and books that resonate in your
heart, and you will find glimpses of your possible futures. What is your
favorite story?"

I am really bothered by the things people say that are mean to me about joining the church or that are discouraging. My family hurts me a lot with the things that they say. I don't think they realize that it hurts me like it does. I am really upset that my best friends have soo much resentment from me joining the church. My family and friends act as if I am turning against them by being LDS. I think it is because I do soo many church things but it is because I love the activities and being surrounded by the people. I just want them to be happy and feel the way I do and if they can't why can they not just be happy for me? :(....I don't want to argue with them I just want them to understand. Is it too much to ask to ask my friends to not watch antimovies and crazy FLDS things and let me or someone else who is actually from the church explain it to them or to ask my family to let me say a quick prayer at the dinner table? When I was little they didn't mind me praying at the dinner table but now that I am LDS it is a whole different story. I just don't understand why it is so different now that I am a member than it was when Nathan or Kayla were around. Ugh... I am so hurt and frustrated.



........But anyways.....



I am AMAZED at how much my life has changed since I have joined the church. I love the church soo much. My perspective on life has changed a lot. Like I mentioned before I am no longer scared to get married and have children. I am soo excited about being able to get married in the temple someday. I have become more of a nature lover because the HF has given us this beautiful earth and this life with free agency that we should be thankful for I am not so lost and confused because the gospel makes soo much more sense...it all fits together soo well. I now feel the spirit soo much stronger. I in general am a happier person. We should be thankful for every little thing that we have because a lot of times we don't know what we have until it is gone. Everyone needs to just live, laugh, love. Stop having negative thoughts and live your life with love and make it a point to not hurt other people.