On this day of your life, Ashley, we believe God wants you to know ... that you do not see things as they are. You see them as you are.

When you look, you see reflections of your being. When you listen, you hear echoes of yourself. If you don't like something about what you see and hear, no point in smashing the mirror, change who you are becoming.

So, this is the result I got on the facebook app...God wants you to know... these things throw me off sometimes. Just because they are so accurate sometimes. I have been really contemplating things in my life and I have picked up habits that I really hate. I am perpetually late, I procrastinate, and I am slow. These things are causing other things that I don't like like stress, grades that are not soo amazing, and last minute rushing through things. I have been planning on working on these things but this is the last straw. I am really going to start working on it. I am going to change who I am becoming and make these things for the better. I also plan to hangout with better influences and be a better influence myself.

2009 Survey

In 09' did you,




Get the person you wanted most?
nope

Get so drunk you passed out?
def. not

Found someone you can completely trust?
i found a few people i can completely trust

Meet new people?
lots

Fall for someone when you didn't think you would?
idk maybe

Do drugs?
def. not

Paint your nails?
yes

Lose somebody you love?
no

Go to more then 10 parties?
ysa parties and stuff :)

Have to listen to music you did not like?
not really

Kiss under the stars?

not this year

Go camping?
yes and im opening 2010 with it too :)

Met someone, who you now don't ever want to lose?

yes

Ever completely broke down in front of a friend?
yes

Do a dare?
nope

Miss your past?
kinda but i keep looking forward

Do something you knew was wrong?
probably

Regret telling someone how you felt?
nope

Play the drums?
nope

Fall in love?
not quite

Lose or gain a bestfriend?
gained quite a few

Go to school?
yes

Fall down stairs?
yes

Get high?
def not thats dumb

Get into a fight?
not physical

Hurt yourself?
not on purpose lol but i always walk into walls and stuff

Go to the beach?
yess

Lose something expensive?
i dont think so

Told someone other than family that you loved them?
yes

Done something illegal?
idk more than likely..but nothing serious

Ever give up on someone?
nope

Now tell me what kind of state you were in when we came into 09'?
i was kinda a little bit of an emotional wreck but I am muuuuch much better

What kind of state will you be in this new years eve?
better than last year...besides my dad being in the hospital life is good.

Was 2009 the best year of your life?
I hope not. I found the gospel and I love that but I hope that the years can only get better. :)

Christmas Day

Today, I realized that I am a spoiled brat I have more than I could ever ask for. For Christmas I got to spend time with my family. I got to have Christmas eve with my mom, dad, sister, grandma and grandpa and eat dinner. I was able to read Luke 5 and open with a prayer J. We opened gifts and then went to look at Christmas lights. I got $300 from grandma and a night gown and $100 from Alicia. It was a lot of fun. Today I woke up around ten opened my stocking, opened presents, this included a flat screen t.v. a laptop bed table, a tomtom GPS, a stocking full of stuff, a cool flashlight, a set of two knifes. We then ate bagels with egg, bacon, and cheese on them for breakfast. They were delicious. I emailed Nathan for a little while. I was soo excited. It was great to hear from them and hear from him. Just a few emails make a world of difference. We then went to grandma and grandpas and watched Gage and Jada open their presents from us and them. They were so excited. They were exhausted but they were still soo cute. Gage got an electric scooter and a really cool remote control car plus a bunch of other stuff from us and Jada was given a tent and ride able electric motorcycle with a side car for her baby doll. When I asked her what santa brought her all she could say was a doll, a baby doll. They are so adorable. We then came back to the house and I played with my Tomtom while mom cooked and dad and Jessica played his video games he got for Christmas. My mom remembered that I always like to pray before we eat so she said everyone wait Ashley is going to say a prayer. I said someone else can say it and my mom said no you are our praying girl. We ate a big Christmas dinner and now we are just hanging out and getting ready for bed after a looong but amazing day.

LOVE

What is love? How do you know if you love someone? Are you in love? I ponder the thought of love often. What is the difference between loving someone? Do you love them like a friend, family, brother, or something more, perhaps someone you may consider marrying? I have often thought what exactly shows love. Is it action or is it words? Does action show more than words? If someone tells you one thing but does another which one is truthful? Is love defined by worrying about someone and wishing for the best? Is love the action of showing that you care? When you begin to wonder if someone is okay, what they are doing, how they are feeling, their best interest, is this love or is this just being considerate? I will continue to pray and ponder the answer to these questions and hopefully someday I will find what love is and I will know it.

Friends

Today I am thankful for the great friends I have. I don't know what I would do without each and every one of you. I know I would not be where I am today. I know that I have grown and become who I am with the influence from each of you. I love you all so much. You could not imagine the impact you have each had in my life. Thank you!!

♥ Ashley :)

On Facebook today I saw someone's status as:

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. "Today I am thankful for..." The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message as your status to invite others to take the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today.

I went ahead and posted my status that today I am thankful for the job that I have but I am actually going to expand this to a blog because I think each of us should try to be more thankful. I am thankful for the job that I have today. I know that I sometimes complain but I have realized that I am working in a great office with a great boss and that I should be very happy that I have a job. I have great hours and flexibility and I am very thankful for all of this.

The Not So Secret Life of The American 20 Year Old

Life as we know it changes throughout the course of our years. It seems like it becomes more and more stressful as time continues to tick. As we progress things become more stressful and time management becomes a large factor for life. How exactly do we know how to balance the many things? Work, School, Church, Family, Sleep, Friends, etc. I have yet to figure out exactly what the balance should be. What order should these things be done and how should I go about accomplishing each one. The goals I had for this semester in school have already started to become unable to accomplish. I am at a loss for how to manage my school work, take good notes, and study. Why am I a junior in college and just now experiencing this delima? In high school and at BCC I had good grades and was able to balance my time. Why all of a sudden am I having such a hard time? Why every night that you plan something four other things happen to be happening at the same time? I triple booked myself. How does someone triple book themself? Well, I guess when you are avoiding you calendar like you may catch the plague then it might just happen. Now that I have worked out this delima I must move on to the next. Work, I love it but at times I really miss the salon. I miss all of the girls, the constantly moving, chatting, doing something. I have learned that I miss that so much. How am I going to work in an office for the rest of my life if I miss that so much. I guess I better find a very busy office or decide on a minor where I can have more talking, moving, and the hustle of a busy day. Family, is the next topic on the list of my very busy day. How do you help your family to understand that you love them and that you are not trying to neglect them? I love my family with all my heart but sometimes it is so hard to relate to them and to have them understand how I feel. All I want is a little compassion. I guess that I will have to learn someday that my family is not quite the compassionate type if they know you are upset they will either pick on you and try to make you laugh or say something like you are being silly. It makes things tough but I should understand this about my family by now, it has been this way for the last 20 years and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Sleep, well I guess I should be doing that right now. I am one of those people who for the last 20 years has had my full 8 hours of beauty rest or I am the grumpiest girl alive. Well over the past few months this has not been so. I am living on less and less sleep and this fact actually scares me a little. What happens if I become like some of my friends and am zombie like and never sleep? What will I do? I may lose my mind being that I am already so close. Friends, I miss my best friend. I know that he is on a mission but sometimes I just want a nice big hug from him, but I am very proud and I am so glad that he decided to serve HF and go on a mission. My friends are all actually amazing and help me through the challenges I face. I know that HF has sent me each and every friend for some reason or another. I have probably driven them all crazy with my ranting and raving but because they all love me soo much they never say a word about me and my big mouth chatty cathy. I love that they all try to help me in any way they can. Church, I actually love church. I am prety sure that the church and my friends are what is helping me to retain the little bit of sanity I have left. Without church and the callings I have I would be quite the mess. I love the gospel and I know that HF will help me work through all of this and manage my time more wisely.Maybe all of this hustle is so that I can see where the life of a working student could prepare a person for marriage and parenthood. Working 28 hours a week, taking 16 credit hours, and fulfilling two callings is quite the load but I am the type of person who enjoys a full load and learning how to manage things. Yes, there may be a mental breakdown here and there but doesn't everyone have one of those every now and then?

♥ Ashley

P.S. I feel much better with all of this off of my chest!!