Experience and Learning

Wow!! It has been a long time since I have posted on here but it has been a long time in the making. I figure that I will catch people up on what is going on in the life of Ashley.

I don't even know where to start. As everyone already knows I have been back in Rexburg for another semester at BYUI for about 3 and a half weeks now. I don't know why but I do love this place. I think it is the great spirit that is felt here and the confirmation that I am supposed to be here. My mind has been expanded in so many ways since April. Who knew that a person could obtain so much knowledge and experience in 6 months? If I have made this much progress, how much more can I make in my life? I have been able to experience things I absolutely never imagined. I mean, I was the girl who as I have been quoted to have said "I am staying in Florida forever, I love this place and this is where I plan to stay". Wow!! Heavenly Father gave me a swift kick when I decided to listen!! So, here I am,  in beautiful Idaho. I must admit...the campus is a little packed this semester and I definitely enjoyed the overall smaller feeling of everything last semester but with that being said it still beats UCF any day.

Some of the amazing things that I have been able to learn and experience in the last six months:
P.S. Don't make fun of me!!

1. Mountains aren't actually completely made of stone...they actually have trees and dirt just like any other place on earth

2. Snow is quite the precipitation...It is a lot like rain...cold and wet (we will see how much I like it come December)

3. Florida is not the only place on earth where a person can be happy.

4. The church is true no matter where you go (I already knew this...I just had to throw it in there after experiencing it)

5. I actually like horses and would like to learn more about them.

6. As open-minded as I was before...I was still very close minded.

7. I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for.

8. My weak stomach can endure blood, guts, and gore that I never imagined was possible.

9. I am actually extremely impressed with the way that a cow is killed, skinned, and butchered.

10. Beets are actually kind of cool looking...Who knew they came with long green stems and can be peeled and shredded to make cake?

11. Beet cake is delicious!!

12. President Monson, the apostles, and all the other general church leaders are amazing!! They are truly called by Heavenly Father!!

13. I am grateful for the internet that has helped allow me to learn the things I have.

14. I love Google!!

15. I love to learn about so many things!!

16. Potatoes that are fresh out of the ground are the most delicious.

17. I have seen a corn stalk for the first time ever.

18. Apples trees are awesome!! The apples are so small and cute around here.

19. BYUI has some really amazing facilities set up to do so many things and to allow the students to attain the knowledge to succeed in their future careers, families, and life.

20. I adore my roommates!!

21. You can get through any trial as long as you continue to press forward and rely on our loving Heavenly Father.

22. Heavenly Father will answer any prayer that you pray for with a sincere faith if it is necessary and part of His will.

23. I am amazed at the progress my grandmother has made in helping herself to become a better person. (She was great before but now she is just absolutely amazing!!)

24. I am grateful for the way that I was raised. It has helped me to become who I am today. Without my parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and sister I would not be the person that I have become.

25. I am absolutely ecstatic that I will soon find out if I will have a new niece or nephew to call me Aunt Ashley!! I love my aunt and uncle so much!!

I guess 25 is enough for tonight but I could not even put into words all of the things that I have taken in in the last 6 months. I can not wait to continue to explore.

I love you all!!

Love Always,
Ashley :)

My Life as a BYUI student

Madness!! That is about the only word to describe my life over the past 3 months. Things have been so crazy!! I have truly been blessed with the opportunity to attend BYU-Idaho. It is definitely a culture shock!! A lot of the things I did back home are not acceptable here. They aren't necessarily bad...just not up to BYUI standards. Some of these things are wearing shorts or capris (we can't wear them on campus) or the curfew of being home and in the apartment at midnight. I know that some of the rules here are really hard to understand but one of the things that we have to remember is that they are set in place for a reason and if we just obey them and not ask why or how then we will be blessed. I know that I have not been perfect by any means but that doesn't mean I am not doing my best. This semester has been a true test of willpower. It is a big move to leave your home and family and venture across the country to move in with 4 people you have never met and another person that you have been around but not more than a week at a time at the most. A lot of my family and friends thought I was crazy, my heck, I thought I was crazy myself but I knew this is what Heavenly Father wanted and who am I to tell Him no?!?! I jumped in head first and in the crazy city of Rexburg is where I spent the last 3 months. Three months has felt like a moment in time at some instances and like an eternity at others. I have been blessed with some great friends in Florida, Tennessee, Utah, and here in Idaho. Sometimes you are really surprised by the things that hit you in the face with life. I miss my family and friends back home more than most can imagine. I worry about them so much but I know that I am blessed with this gift. Not worry itself but the intuition I have sometimes is definitely a gift from Heavenly Father. My family is really doing great, even with the tragedy that hit in April. We miss Jada Dawn so much but we do know she is with Heavenly Father and we are all dealing with it in different ways but we all have done what we needed and moved on...one step at a time. I can see miracles in my family everyday, things are happening that I would not have seen in my wildest dreams, it truly brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I can definitely say that this has been the toughest three months of my life but making it through has shown me that with Heavenly Father I can truly make it through anything. At times I am amazed with my strength but at other times I just feel like it is not enough. I have had roommate drama and I have spent a lot of time at Kayla's. Kayla's roommates have been really great to let me stay with them. I am especially grateful to Kayla Cook who is sharing her room with me. I am extremely grateful for the blessing that I have had to be out in Idaho with two of my best friends. There have definitely been ups and downs between us but the greatest thing is that we have been able to work through them and move on. I talk with Kayla daily about the things that we have been through and how amazing it is. We have truly butted heads over things but we talk and work through it. I think that I am learning lessons with my friends that I will definitely use in my future. I really think that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. It is amazing to look back and see how true this is for things in the past. I am eternally grateful for the friends that talk to me at late hours even when they aren't here in Idaho. Thank you so much Jessica, Elizabeth, Sarah K., Sarah S., Shanna, and everyone else that I have talked to on the phone and on facebook that have helped to keep me sane. I am thankful for everyone who has sent up prayers for Kayla and I and my family, they have truly been felt in the blessings we have received. I am thankful that I have had Kayla here and that I have been able to hold her hand and help her through the things that she needed help with and that she has been able to do the same for me. We have a friendship that is just not explainable. I take friendship seriously!! The friends that I am close with are like sisters and brothers to me and they mean the world!! I would do anything for them and I would hope that they would do anything for me!! It hurts badly when you lose a friend especially when you just don't know why things changed so fast but I guess it is another challenge that I have to face and another stepping stone in life. Another thing that I have been blessed with is the opportunity to go home for summer. This was something I never imagined would be possible when I came out here. I was able to find a plane ticket for the same amount as it was to stay the summer out here. I am more than ready to surprise my grandpa and Gage and to spend some quality time with my family and friends back home. I have worked and gone to school since I graduated high school and have never had the opportunity to spend good old fashion quality time with my family and friends over the summer. I can't wait. I would love to have some odds and end jobs while I am home and be able to make a few bucks here and there but I am going to try not to stress too much and take it one day or moment at a time. I am looking forward to the future and the stepping stones along the way.

Love Always,
<3 Ashley :)

My life story (at the moment)

So, I only do these blog things in the middle of the night when I have random thoughts flying and need to express myself. I usually share too much about myself but I am an open person and like to share.

Here goes. So my groove has been thrown off so much. I am out at BYU-Idaho as most of you know I moved out here in April. 

When I got here a tragedy happened when my sweet niece fell into a swimming pool and I was told "she is not doing good, you need to come home". I flew home less than 48 hours after I arrived here and stayed home for a week. My sweet baby girl returned home to Heavenly Father. I miss her more than most could imagine. I took it a lot harder than any other death. I have lost a lot of family members but this one was just really, really different. Most don't understand that these kids are my world. Gage and Jada have been the light of my life since the day they were born. It has been really hard not being able to spend time with either of them but it has definitely been tough knowing that when I go home my Jada won't be there to see her "Aunt Ashwee". I know there have been a lot of people that just don't understand why I have been upset but I am so thankful for those who have been so great. There have been so many who have supported the family and helped in so many ways. We are eternally grateful for you all!! Also, thank you to everyone who signed Jada's Law, we really hope this will help to save another family from feeling the loss we have felt.

BYU-Idaho is a school nothing like anything I could have ever imagined. It is amazing!! The teachers are really caring, the classes are super small, and the Spirit can be felt all around campus. It is so uplifting to go to school here. I have had a really hard time getting into things and I really HATE my major but I am pulling through and I am going to make it through this semester. I have been praying constantly to Heavenly Father to find out what my mission here on earth is. I pray constantly that I may find a major that I will be able to help Heavenly Father's children. Hopefully the answer to these questions will come soon so that I may be able to get on the right course and finish college.

I miss my family and friends so much. They mean the world to me and they don't have any clue how much I miss them. I know they want me to come home but I know I am where I need to be and unless Heavenly Father tells me otherwise this is where I am going to be. It is a constant struggle because I miss doing things with them and spending time with them. My mom and sisters birthday have passed and my grandpa's is this week. I have missed mothers day and soon fathers day. It is so hard to be a country away on these important days knowing that I have always been there with them before.

I miss my YSA calling. I miss it a lot. It kept me on the "straight and narrow". I miss all of the YSA and of course Brother and Sister Russell. I never knew how much I would miss that calling. I miss going to dances, playing volleyball, beach activity, firesides, etc. It is so weird being in Idaho and not being in Florida for any of these activities. I also miss all of the people who influenced me in the church in the Cocoa stake. There are so many who don't know how much they mean to me and how much I look up to them. I know a lot of these people have also left Florida and moved on but they will always mean a lot to me. I am so thankful for those who introduced me to the church and who helped me to persevere. I am also thankful for those who are still in Titusville that helped me. The sister missionaries who taught me the lessons came and stayed in Idaho this weekend. It was so awesome that they made a trip up to Idaho just to see me. This meant so much!! We were able to talk and laugh and joke about things and I know that they will be a part of my life forever.  I am thankful for Sister Price who told me that if I ever want to learn more that I could take the lessons at her house and she introduced me to these great missionaries.

The gospel has blessed my life in more ways than I ever could have imagined and I know it will continue to bless me and my family. I have made a goal to do more and become better and I know that the gospel will help me in this. I know this church is true and I know that the Book of Mormon is true. Every day I will get up and take each day one step at a time. I will continue to remember and love those at home but to not look back. I will continue to put on my Jada bracelets and to wear my pink. I hope that I can find my happiness and let go of all the sadness.

Change

Heavenly Father has been full of changes in my life. It is amazing what he will do in your life when you let him. Life as I know it is about to change in amazing ways. I am heading out to Idaho on April 4th to start a new educational endeavor at Brigham Young University Idaho. This is less than a month away. This is totally unbelievable to me. I am very bittersweet about the lasts but I know there are many firsts yet to come. My emotions have been all over the place for quite a while now. I am amazed at how strong I am at times. I am also amazed at how much my emotions are affected by those who mean a lot to me. I hate to see those I love down and I would do anything to put a smile on their face. This sometimes causes me to be to be overused or hurt but I recover quickly. I need to keep a good head on my shoulders and remember that I can't make things happen that aren't meant to be. I know that I ask for a lot of patience and it's the opposite of what I give sometimes but I can only give everything I have and sometimes I don't feel like it's enough. I have a hard time remembering it is in His timing and not mine. I am far from perfect but I understand this and I strive towards perfection one day at a time. It may not seem like it at times because I know I fail and fall short but as soon as I realize I am heading the wrong way I change my direction and move on. I have a hard time with forgetting the past and moving on. It's not that I want to go back to the past just that I like the good memories and usually have forgotten the bad. One of my biggest faults is that I am a worrywart. I sometimes worry over small things but then realize that they weren't actually that big of a deal. I am so thankful for the friends that I have that help me to become a better person. Those who are a good example and those who are constant reminders while still being loving and uplifting. I have had so many great influences in my life that I could not even begin to thank everyone. Although, I have not always had the best things in my life I know that my family has definitely not fallen short on one thing and that is the love that they give me. I am so thankful for this love and this is one thing that makes my move to Idaho so hard but I know that Heavenly Father’s plan is what is best and that everything else will work out. Thank you to those who are being patient with me. Although, I let a lot of things roll off my back. I do sometimes get hurt easily. I am usually fairly confident but I do need reassurance every now and then. I love you all and I know that I have really gone off topic but there were some things that I just needed to write down and get out.

Love Always,
Ashley :)

Past, Present, Future

The past has brought me to where I am in the present and the present will 

bring me to where I go in the future.

This is definitely the quote of my life with my schooling and future career. I laugh when I think about the indecisiveness of my education. When I was in high school I took accounting, computer, and CNA classes and really wanted to do cosmetology school. My mom said CNA or Cosmetology NOT both so I went with CNA. I finished that and could add one thing to my list of careers I would never want to have.  I graduated high school with all those elective courses and Honors at BCC due to my CNA classes. I then took all the general requirements for my AA at BCC and all of my electives for Business. I then transferred to UCF with Business as my major. A semester later I decided to change my major to Accounting. Took one semester in Accounting and realized that I had not done well at UCF at all. I decided that I had always been successful so it must be the major that was the problem. I went back to BCC for one semester to try out Elementary Education. Well, now that semester is over and one more career is added to the list of careers I never want to have. I have taken some time off from going a 1,000,000 miles an hour to really sit down and think about what has gone wrong and why I am where I am.  I have put a lot of time into praying and asking Heavenly Father where exactly I need to be and I am confident that it is not the major that was wrong at UCF it was the school. Heavenly Father has let me know that I need to listen to Him even if it isn’t always the answer I want. Well, most of you already know where I am going with this but for those of you that don’t I am going to BYU-I. This is a big adventure for me. I am following Heavenly Father with a leap of faith and out to Idaho I go.  :)

Time Flies

Wow!! How time flies!! I wonder if it would seem so if I didn't have something to judge it on. I will never know. Over the last two years things have changed a lot. Two years ago today is the date that I started taking the lessons with the Sister Missionaries. Stake Conference this past weekend was reminiscent for me. 

It was January 13, 2009; I decided to go to Stake Conference alone. What made me make this decision was beyond me at the time but I later learned it was the Spirit. I really enjoyed Stake Conference and was extremely pleased when Nathan's mom suggested I sit with them. I paid close attention to the things that were said during conference but the thing that I remember the most is that a young boy held open a door for me and I remember one of the speakers asking 3 boys at various ages what they would be doing at the age of 19, when they each said serving a mission I was amazed. It was beyond my comprehension that these boys loved and understood Heavenly Father enough that they knew they should go on missions. When Conference was over Sister Price pointed at two young women and told me, "if you decide you would like to know more let me know...those will be the missionaries you will meet with." I at that moment decided I would really like to know what this was all about. I told Sister Price that I would like to meet them and we made a beeline to them. When Sister Price told Sister Keller that we would like to set something up she said, "Okay, We will call you sometime during the week and set something up for maybe Friday!" after we walked away Sister Price and I decided that Friday was definitely too late. Sister Keller called me on Sunday night and set up for the first lesson to be on that Wednesday...only two days earlier than Friday but much better. :) I continued to take the lessons and although the adversary fought it as much as he could I was baptized on February 15, 2009 and confirmed on February 22, 2009. 

This was the best decision I have ever made. As soon as I read The Book of Mormon I knew it was true. I am so glad I followed this prompting and didn't ignore it. Over the last two years there have been so many experiences, good and bad but I have gained a stronger testimony day by day. I must say that even though there have been lots of changes in my life Heavenly Father has pointed me to the correct path each time. 

Thankfulness

So, I am completely behind on the picture thing. I will try to pick up on that after I get my finals completed.

Anyways today while I was driving I thought of some random things that I am thankful for and decided it would be a good blog post.

1. I am thankful that I don't live in a state where smoking is allowed in restaurants and other public places. (When we were in Michigan, no matter where we went we smelled like we had been in a club or bar)
2. I am so thankful for my car. I don't know what I would do without the reliable transportation I have.
3. I am thankful for Heavenly Father and his plan.
4. I am thankful for the great friends I have. They all do so much for me.
5. I am thankful for those who are such great examples for me in the gospel.
6. I am thankful for those who while facing tough situations stay strong and rely on the gospel.
7. I am thankful for my church leaders.
8. I am thankful for my family and the love they have for me.
9. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit which guides me.
10. I am thankful for the trials that I have been through in my life that have helped me to become who I am today.

These are just a few of the things that I am thankful for. :)